In transition? Not certain where to go – let alone when? Maybe you can’t even define the restlessness or discomfort that comes with what’s next. Or maybe you have a general sense of direction, but the details are fuzzy.

Transition is about reframing our day-to-day realities. To living change.

And yet, it doesn’t take much to derail change. If we fear we may “make a mistake” sometime during the process, we start peppering our thoughts with words that set us up for heartache. However, when we welcome those so-called mistakes…we learn. When we don’t judge our choices, we discover new ideas and opportunities. We change direction with greater ease because we found something different or better…something that lightens our hearts and feeds our souls. We reframe our realities.

Transitions are about realizing this time in our lives is a chance to renew. Start over. Redesign ourselves and follow a dream that has been parked in our hearts far too long. Transitions are those times we get to truly and deeply choose who we want to be.

There is one word I challenge my clients to jettison from their vocabulary. And this is especially important in times of change. SHOULD.

SHOULDS are binary. They are black and white options that are rarely real. Life is in shades of gray, blue, green, red and yellow. It is complex, confusing, interesting and wonderfully full up.

Joyful life…life with purpose and meaning…is one chosen. It is one built on the values that fill our hearts and guide our actions. It is free of guilt. It is fearless. And, it is NOT built on SHOULDS.


When we SHOULD on ourselves, we are rarely personally motivated. We respond to life and situations with a sense of obligation…often passive in our choice…and with little to no heart. And so we risk falling short of our own goals. We hide from what could be.

Oh, but there’s a cure! Research shows the minute we tell ourselves – we believe we “need to” or “choose to” vs. SHOULD – we’re all in. We’re emotionally and intellectually engaged. Success is in reach.

So when in transition, listen to yourself. What words are you using? Do you need to or choose to achieve a dream? Or do you have to?

When we choose, transition can energize us…make us curious and awake to the possibilities. Awake to the opportunities that can guide us down a path to new encounters…to new experiences that expand our dreams or offer new and unimagined alternatives. Can you fathom what we might discover!